LOGMSGS.DAT¡ÁIÌ^.·Ì _This is the only logon available, ~n#. Sorry.IÌ#:Squishy~n#!Ì,#We are not worthy, ~n#! We are not worthy!ÌWassamatta you, ~n#? You'a nevveh seen a pitted wattahmelon, 'eh? Sheeeee..ÌPork. It's not just for ~n# anymore.âÌ8Ì ,*What if we don't want any extra ~n#'s?âÌ9 Blinkie...blinkie...blinkie....ACK!!! GET THAT ~n# AWAY!!! âÌ 3MÌ- Ever wonder why ~n#s come in packs of ten and buns come in only eight?¾Ì 8 It's ~t, do you know where your ~n# is?¾Ì  0Look ~n#, you can change your handle but everyone knows you're just ~w#.¾ÌLet's have a warm welcome for Miss Beeline, 1996, ~n#!¾Ì*Let's have a warm welcome for Mr. Beeline, 1996, ~n#!¾Ì:ÌGeez, ~n#! Put that back on!âÌDÌ~n# is a serious threat to the existance of muskrats... they just don't reproduce very well.âÌ/5Naked ~n#'s are not a pretty sight.âÌc6ÌE"~n#, the newest ingredient in SPAM.¾ÌM."PLEASE... don't hurt me!" cries ~n# as ~v1 shudders in the corner.¾Ì$T-¾Ì&33If you don't like the new logons ~n#, write some. Dolt!Ì%L(~n# falls into the room, blue in the face after sniffin' some elmer's.¾Ì: &~n#, It's what's for dinner.Ì0In walks ~n#, the Bob Vila of S&M.Ì4>~n#'s ecological cause of the week : Save the Fotomat.Ì500~n# is here, hide the haggis!Ì7G5~e#? Took you that long to find this place, ~n#?Ì9(~n# is here to work on perfecting that "jackhammer in a hearing aid factory" dynamic.Ì; Ask ~n# about job opportunities in the couch potato industry!Ì/ÌThe only claim to brightness ~n# has is knowing someone of incan descent.Ì _~n# needs a paradigm shift. Or at least, a severe wedgie.Ì:It's ~n#. So what?IÌ' ~n#. Very interesting, but stupid.¾Ì&P If ~n# had something better to do, ~v1 wouldn't be here.¾Ì) /¾Ì*My name is ~n#, and I'm..... I'm a beeliner.¾Ì+'9¾Ì,"Don't listen to that ~n# character, ~v1's just loony.^Ì  )Hell-o kitty! ~n# has just logged on port # from ~h#!!!Ì LAME! ~n#.Ì ]!Quoth the ~n#... "huh?"¾Ì (R~n#, rock-n-roller!^Ì ¾Ì HAVE NO FEAR ~n# is here!¾Ì  ¾Ì 8It's ~n#! YAY!~_~_(#,~u#,~n#): Is this the bestiality room?¾Ì 5c(¾Ì 6,~n# filters what ~v1 doesn't understand.^Ì&c$Please god make ~n# a bird, so she can fly far far away!Ì6 iÌ*)~n# strolls in after first tripping on ~v2 feet and hitting ~v2 head on the door frame.Ì ~n#! Go AWAY! And don't come back until you take a SHOWER!^Ì6 3~n# says that stupid is as stupid does!¾Ì.&"~n# enters and asks: "Where's that 'cyber sex' they promised me?"„Ì ¾Ì8WI'm not just the ~n# club president, I'm also a member!¾Ì1*~n# is 'special'¾Ì5%~n# shops at urban. We'll leave that open to interpretation.¾Ì ODon't touch that, ~n#, we don't know where you've been.Ì $~n#: more fun than a joint and a blow-up doll.Ì -~n# thinks a six pack and a bug zapper are quality entertainment.¾Ì5 'Look ma, we's got's us a ~n#! Get the guns!¾Ì* Remain calm, ~n# has entered the building.¾Ì+;"I'm the NRA!" ~n# proclaims.¾Ì.8¾Ì.*/Look who's come to chat! It's the frisky she a**, ~n#!¾Ì0H~n# is the reason that /f was created.IÌ.O ¾Ì52Hey there, have you talked to astrí or SPQR or sysop or Cujo or ~n# or hiisi recently?¾Ì(E$~n#, proud holder of the lamest handle on beeline!MÌ"MÌ#23"gray would be the color,if i had a heart" states a depressed and oh-so-gothic ~n# as they walk in.Ì ·Ì >They didn't get ~n#, the REAL Unabomber.Ì2~n# is the reason why Bean-O was invented.Ì *R~n# struts into the room, bristling with muscle and slid into a spray-on leather getup; ~v1 takes off ~v2 Gargoyles and asks for "Sawah Cannah".Ì -N1Someday, ~n# will walk out of a steam room with a towel holding up ~v2 pot belly. Plan not to be there.Ì .,Whew, it's just you, ~n#. For a second we thought you were one of the Dangerous Brothers.Ì 0JWell dip my gonads in a slurry of liquefied skunks! It's ~n#, come to practice ~v2 lounge lizard act! Polyester napkins for everyone, barkeep!Ì 0a8~n#'s here to ask you for money for the Save Ferris Fund.Ì 2c)"I ITCH! I ITCH! I ITCH!" exclaims the burr-ridden ~n#.. Or maybe ~v1's just practicing ~v2 Russian..Ì 4.Ì-<~n# hops in ~v2 spaceship built entirely out of an Apple //c, a piece of a carnival ride, and a few wooden crates. Kids these days...Ì 5aIntroducing everyone's favorite blow-up doll, ~n#! (Bet you didn't know the navel has a recessive trait, did you..)Ì 75Face it, ~n#, your fridge full of used motion sickness bags is more than just a collecting hobby.Ì 8* ~n#: world's greatest gossip. Destined to die poor and mediocre, but well informed on all things trivial.Ì :Able to overpower entire cub scout dens with nothing but a pump-action rifle! Able to devour small fish ponds with ~v2 bottomless armpits! It's Super~n#!Ì CSo ~n# checks ~v2 sanity with a wrist watch. What do you check yours with, a dipstick??Ì '*Nope, I'm sorry, ~n#; fluted nostrils will NOT make the world a happier place.Ì Maybe you'd seem friendlier if you had 'hi.' tattooed on your forehead, ~n#.Ì Get someone to edit the logins, ~n#. Kirk's gone and abused his priveleges again..Ì ~n# trots in with a grin that says either "I just got laid" or "I geeked all night and the caffeine's still in my system."Ì '~n# bounces in wearing a suit made entirely of rubber baby buggy bumpers.Ì  :âÌ  '4~n# - Destined to star in the roller rink adaptation of "Baywatch."Ì  I âÌ  ~n# - Destined to develop a space suit for NASA based on the body condom.Ì  T ~n# plods in, having just finished scraping another Bambi off ~v2 grille.Ì  b%Ì 76%~n# - one baseball bat short of "crackin' open a whole lotta skulls."Ì A+âÌ  ^ ~n# - Any hornier and ~v2 stylist would charge extra for "rhino research."Ì N~n# is here, hopin' to pick up a serious case of cooties.Ì S6~n# could really use a back rub. Nail guns work great for this, trust me.Ì %Great. It's ~n#, the Ovaltine poster child.Ì ,ÌL4~n# slinks in with a fistful of spackle, just begging for an excuse to use it. Stay calm and don't make any sudden movements.Ì EâÌ  2~n# - Destined to one-up Gallagher using small mammals.Ì 0Dangerous: contents include ~n#. If swallowed, immediately induce vomiting with a solid punch to the gut.Ì @ ~n# sashays in with that 'shave me like a naughty sheep' look in ~v2 eyes.Ì I swear, those ~n#'s just keep getting bigger and more aggressive.. Might be time to call Orkin.Ì Q Rub ~n# the right way: friendly, pleasant conversation. Rub ~v2 the wrong way: horndog. Land of innuendo. Horrifying advances. Libidinous chaos.Ì  Z/~n#. Geekette. Tinker-belle. Big owl glasses and a gleam in her eye that would make Mary Shelley proud. Just stay the heck out of her lab..¾Ì Feel lucky, ~n#. This logon actually _isn't_ written by Kirk!¾Ì"~n# is a tasty treat.¾ÌR¾Ì This logon would be much more interesting, ~n#, if you were allowed to use derogatory language here.âÌGet the leather straps, ~n# is here to play!âÌ 2Well I could have sworn that there was a recall on all ~n#'s...something about defective brains. Ì~n#: It slices! It dices! It takes over third world countries! Not available in stores.Ì B"âÌ ; \~n# - All the right parts in all the right places. No owner's manual.Ì !"Hi, I'm ~n#, and I suffer of justbefriendsosis." Maybe someday... they'll find a cure.Ì :~n# is taking applications for ~v2 harem. Apply today!Ì c$As of the start of next month, ~n#'s new handle will be 'Anelle of Anass'. This has been a public service announcement.Ì H8Tired? Sleepy? Life lack adrenalin? Have ~n# give you a solid punch in the neck!Ì ~n# swaggers in in a scanty battle bikini, toting a matching set of hair-trigger bazookas.Ì 5~n# swaggers in in his lycra battle briefs, toting a hair-trigger missile launcher and a wicked grin.Ì <~n# slips in, looking uncannily like a dog that did its business behind the couch while you were out..Ì! )Somebody please help ~n# find an outlet.. Before ~v2 portable runs out of juice.Ì# Paid ~n# your protection money this month? (Remember, kids, cracked ribs HURT!)Ì& 2~n# - any more hip and ~v1'd be able to fit in a third leg.Ì) @"So, ~n#'s got an over-active phlegmular system- ~v1's still great fun, when ~v1 has ~v2 bucket nearby.Ì* T+Ì8ZRemember, kids, you're not going to get on ~n#'s good side by hanging ~v3 up by ~v2 nipples again.Ì- D*Okay, you can rub ~n#'s tummy for good luck, but no higher, and no lower.Ì. -3~n# has a popup menu. You just have to figure out where to click ~v3.Ì1 D~n# - turnons include 'people who don't want to force feed me karo syrup until I weigh 450 pounds'.Ì2 ;~n# - turnons include 'people who don't intend to amputate my arms and legs and keep me as a sex toy'.Ì4 b3~n# - turnons include 'people who won't secretly slip alcohol, tranquilizers, prescription drugs, or steroids into my food'.Ì6 1 ~n# - turnons include 'people who won't fantasize that I'm someone else'.Ì>7~n# - turnons include 'furry happy bouncy bunnies.. tee hee'.Ì4~n# - turnons include 'artificially bloated sex organs'.Ì 2~n# - turnons include 'people who don't like children - for breakfast, lunch, NOR dinner'.Ì~n# - turnons include 'people with a pulse and a means of locomotion.'Ì+~n# - turnons include 'anyone who doesn't know my sordid history already'.Ì34~n# - turnons include 'anyone willing to pamper me, clean me, dress me, spank me when I'm bad, and walk me through the park in my stroller'.Ì"~n# - turnons include 'people who don't write these lame turnon greets'.Ì In actuality, ~n# could be a superhero, if ~v1 wasn't so embarrassed by ~v2 superpower..Ì&.Ask ~n# about ~v2 recently penned script, and ~v1'll say "It's kind of like Barney, adapted for a child audience.."Ì$ Kind of rambunctious, these ~n#s.. 'specially when you put a plastic bag over their heads.ÌV8What you need, ~n#, is a nice, friendly, caring punch in the neck.Ì##Okay, everyone stand in line to smell ~n#.Ì%8Hearken, for here is the most illuvial ~n# with which we shall scrub our Triscuits saltless. Yea.Ì&42âÌ : # Is that pork I smell? Oh, hi, ~n#! Ì'\ Just don't know how to quit while you're ahead, do you, ~n#?Ì.8)~n# is an equal opportunity bigot.Ì0A:~n#. Sweet. Kind. Romantic. Caring. Tastefully funny. Gainfully employed. Taken. Sorry.Ì2W-~n# got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and is now becoming a postal worker.Ì4b~n# needs someone to polish ~v2 latex bodysuit; preferably while ~v1's wearing it.Ì7 No, ~n#, 'flabbergasted' doesn't involve obesity and flatulence.Ì9!2If they wrote a song about ~n#, they'd have to call it 'Smells like Cheap Spirits'.ÌL*Congratulations, ~n#!! You just won a smart punch in the neck from a playful Wookie!Ì4~n#, a gentle hint. Your sex drive is not a part of your computer. Got it, honeykins?ÌWNo, ~n#, there's no such thing as a 'Boobs of Steel' video, and I'm not about to explain why.Ì\ Polish up the beergoggles, it's ~n#!Ì ~n# walks in with a toasted game of Life, a doll, and a bra on ~v2 head. You're supposed to hack into the Defense department, not the IRS, ~n#.ÌV$Go weed the greets, ~n#. Let only the purest of wit, the truest of form, and the most wondrous of message survive. Shortcut: flush the lot!Ì'Deep from the heart of the X files - ~n#.ÌI&~n# is pure, unadulterated evil. Plus or minus the adultery.Ì0I bet ~n# will make milkshakes for everyone, if we just know how to ask.Ì<Introducing the new, genetically engineered seedless ~n#. Take a bite and try ~v3!Ì^:That's a lovely outfit you're almost wearing, ~n#.Ì$Lurching and reeling, the HMS ~n# bravely (if not hazily) steers its way through the Ethanol Sea..ÌQNote: ~n# is to be referred to as ~n# - not 'Sweet Cheeks', 'Lovey Dovey' or 'Spampiffle the Meatball Grinder'. This has been a public service announcement.Ì QComing soon to a theater near you: ~n# Takes a Lover. From someone else.Ì#A/This is rumour control, here are the facts: Your fly is open, ~n#.tÌ/ IÌL-Okay, who sat on ~n#?$Ì'Don't you let the guest waiter sit at your table at Denny's? asks ~n#.$Ì+99Modeming should require a license like most other dangerous activities, right ~n#?$ÌWWhy can't ~n# stay on the extra two minutes until I log on so we can chat?Ì9!Help! I'm stuck in a funky logon factory, ~n#!Ì;)'~n# - any more grizzled, and ~v3'd live in a forest and hibernate.Ì# Gimme the remote, ~n#. Dillweed.Ì~n#. Australian for beer.Ì& And now, a romantic interlude.. with ~n#. And a bowl of fish. And a car battery with two jumper cables. Very romantic.Ì$Yes, we'd like a ~n#, extra large. With fries.ÌJOh, look, it's ~n#, that one we all adore! Or is it that other ~n#..Ì TOh, fudge. It's ~n# and ~v2 damnable libido again..Ì!When the s#@& hits the fan like that string in a can, that's ~n#!Ì!0Somebody hand ~n# a chamois.Ì$9~n# - destined to make a fortune selling "Spam on a rope".Ì(.(~n# - now with a bulletproof exterior and polyester seat covers!Ì*aIn toddles squishy~n#, with the Warner siblings boingy boingy boingying on ~v2 stomach.Ì-#~n# walks in, tugging a waterlogged Fotomat. "Help me heal it and return it to its natural habitat!"Ì9~n# - just wind ~v3 up and watch ~v3 go!Ì0 âÌ 8 HNot like you can help it, ~n#, but, well...That keyboard makes you look fat. Ì53~n# saunters in, cracks open a bottle of carbonated Lust, and lets it slide down ~v2 throat.Ì61~n# keeps trying to teach ~v2 cat how to use a straw..Ì8&(~n# trundles in ~v2 collection of 35mm film canisters. "They're Fotomat eggs, I'll have you know." And you thought Jurassic Park was unlikely..Ì8]First, we saturation bomb them with ~n#s.. Then, we drop paratroops. If they haven't surrendered by then, we will.Ì`/Make sure to get ~n# to show you ~v2 fantastic collection of rubber nipples!Ì8I see soap bubbles in your future, ~n#. Consult Peter Pan to maximize your investment returns.Ì V'This is the Infiniti ~n#. Real leather exterior. Adjustable seat. And a full array of accessories. Check with your banker today about financing one!Ì  ~n# just wants to Wang Chung tonight.Ì"Ripley, this is Dallas.. We're bringing in ~n#. There's something stuck to ~v2 face.."Ì$âÌ 7 7~n# trots in with marbles in ~v2 nose and a pepper shaker, looking for an eccuse to fire. Just one little oversight...ÌOAsk ~n# to show you ~v2 personal attack helicopter, the Skulkin' Vulcan.Ì Exie stumbles in and starts beating ~n# with a bamboo switch, demanding to know the location of the hidden bottle of vodka.Ì/.~n# drags in an Exielounger and curls up in it with a hot capuccino.Ì"Willowy ~n# saunters in in a chain mail halter. "This would chafe so, if I hadn't already used so much sealing wax on it."ÌV9~n# states matter-of-factly, "flooby flooby", and keels over with a foot in ~v2 gut.ÌY*Kirk pedals in and drops a croissant-folded cold pizza slice on ~n#. "Eleven more trips to go! Back in 45 minutes."Ì "Why is it that hot dogs come in packs of 10, and Exies come in packs of 64?" asks ~n# upon entering.ÌFace it, ~n# - you'd look mighty fetching with milking machine tentacles hanging tenaciously onto your nipples.âÌ&6"Kirk? Where did you hide the Ben and Jerry's?" shouts a frantic ~n#.âÌ ÌContrary to popular belief, ~n#, Peter Pan is silly.âÌ=2ÌExie, dear, you shouldn't try to Beeline when you've had too much to drink. Use ~n# as an example or this...âÌ!MÌ+X "So tell me, Kirk...how long does it take to get a slice of pizza delivered?" Asks a curious ~n#.âÌ3"So Pan, are you going to tell me what the marbles are really for?" asks ~n#.âÌK "Pan, Kirk and Exie are pathetic. They spend an entire day deciding how to rephrase their actions into great logons!" Shouts ~n#.Ì^6~n# wants koosh-koosh. Come ching-a-rang his chong.Ì'!:~n# returned a bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf before the expiration date. ~n# came back as a bag of groceries...ÌO+Ì"~n# walks in, gluing ~v2 teeth back into place one by one. Enya on a 300 watt stereo does provide a good massage.. but the side effects..Ì+^"~n# enters and immediately is accosted and patted down by Exie. "I /must/ find VODKALIBUR.." she mutters and teeters on her way.Ì1Y~n# staggers in, dumbstruck. "Pan is not human.. I just saw him swallow 9 marbles.. He's a chicken, I tell you, a giant chicken!"Ì41/~n# walks in the door with a cake and immediately trips over a sleeping Germina.Ì5-~n# drags in a puckering milking machine, and starts looking for anyone who might be lactating.Ì6+~n# drags in a puckering milking machine, and yowls, "Eureka! I give you.. The cure for acne!"Ì) âÌExie will volunteer to aid the budding A55h)le in you, ~n#.âÌY4Exie will give you A$$hole points if you ask REAL nice, ~n#.âÌ.~n#, even sillier than Peter Pan.âÌ)0Flibbly, flubbly and floobly are all close relatives of ~n#.$Ì1Peter Pan stares at Exairian and says "Didn't ~n# tell you to play fair?"$Ì .Kirk can be seen trying to lift his bike off the ground with a pocket box-kite according to ~n#.$Ì@/Mount Horeb is dangerous with all their evil girls invading Madison, right ~n#?$Ì&Exairians are for tickliing, it's in the rule book! And ~n# smiles.$Ì-"Find where Exairian hid the chocolate bar!" screams ~n#, searching EVERYWHERE.$Ì19But I know that the Vodka bottle is here somewhere! cries ~n#.$Ì["See, I'm not drunk, I can type!" says ~n#, and proceeds to pass out at the keyboard.·Ì9 "You know, Shift-Clicking works better if you use a keyboard and mouse attached to the same system" says an enlightened ~n#.Ì[For Sale: 1 ~n#, _AS_IS_. $47.95. Ì.0The 1996 ~n#: Sleek. Streamlined. #50 cubic centimeters of dual, raw, outboard power. Pick one up today! Void where prohibited, propellers not included.Ì  "In walks a freshly laminated ~n#.uÌ*+You know ~n#, you can get medication for that!·Ì 5WOW! I didn't know that they MADE a decaffeinated ~n#.âÌ /âÌ 1/*"I'm not a lurker!" shouts ~n# as ~v3 slowly enters the room.Ì  1So, ~n#, what do you do all day aside from driving round in circles?Ì = Hi, my name is ~n#, and i want to be your love-slave.Ì No, ~n#, saran wrap does NOT count as clothing.Ì ")(Be nice to the ~n#s, they're an endangered species.Ì '&~n# is just looking for people to fit in with. Preferably people built like Barbie Twins on the pill.Ì +,What's tasteless, colorless, and deadly? Why, ~n#'s jokes, of course.Ì +/+~n# aspires to be a kiwi genie, ~v3 just won't admit it to all of you.Ì ,.4Oh, the thankless job of being a ~n#.. Grok ~v3, feel ~v2 pain.Ì /)You'd better go pee, ~n#, before you stain your eyeballs yellow.Ì  ~n#: flat as a pancake and twice as tasty!+Ì8Hold the applause, ~n# is here!+Ì#L~n# .... How many times have i told you.. NO MOSHING ON THE BEE LINE!†Ì99Spank ~n# for good luck!