Memorabilia Info
date 1992
description Kiwi's put together by Massacre and Particle Man. File dated 2/25/1992
size 35756
filename kiwi.txt
handle Data
Content-Type text/plain
category miscellaneous
Back to list of memorabilia

   Kiwis! Kiwis! Kiwis! That remarkable creation by the most remarkable
   of BeeLine SysOps, Bee, Der Fuerer himself, now arrive illustrated 
   in a lovely, hand-crafted text file, as detailed below.

   In order to further the goals of the  Kiwi Liberation Organization
   , this file, illustrating all of the Beeline kiwis,

   Thanks to...

   Massacre, User 158, for the culling of the raw Kiwidata
   Particle Man, User 356, for the editing and publication of this file.

 The kiwi cracks open with a squirt of juice and the kiwi genie appears!
 Please tell Bee that Lithuania can rot in hell. UNLIMITED KIWIS FOR 

   [1]... A big shot is just a little shot who kept on shooting.
   [2]... The quickest way to get what you want is to help others get what
          they want.
   [3]... The difference between "ordinary" and "extraordinary" is that 
          little something "extra."
   [5]... Sometimes love just isn't enough.  Sometimes dead is better.
   [6]... Always store beer in a dark place.
   [7]... Men are more sentimental than women.  It blurs their thinking.
   [8]... Certainly the game is rigged.  Don't let that stop you.  
          If you don't bet, you can't win.
   [9]... Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proven innocent.
  [10]... Always listen to the experts.  They'll tell you it can't be done,
          and why.  Then do it. 

  [22]... Sex should be friendly, otherwise stick to mechanical toys.  It's 
          more sanitary. 
  [23]... Never appeal to a man's "better nature."  He may not have one.  
          Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage. 
  [24]... You can have peace.  Or you can have freedom.  Don't ever count on 
          having both at once. 
  [25]... Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark. 
  [26]... An elephant:  A mouse built to government specifications. 
  [27]... In a mature society, "civil servant" is semantically equal to 
          "civil master." 
  [28]... A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes.  This may be 
          the purpose of the universe. 
  [29]... Democracy is based on the aassumption that a million men are wiser 
          than one man.  How's that again?  I missed something. 
  [30]... Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a 
          million men.  Let's play that over again, too.  Who decides? 
  [31]... Courage is the complement of fear.  A man who is fearless can not 
          be courageous.  (He is also a fool.) 

  [43]... Yield to temptation.  It may not pass your way again. 
  [45]... Prof KNOWS you were cosmically meant to be a liberal. 
  [46]... "All's fair in love and war"--what a contemptible lie! 
  [47]... Natural laws have no pity. 
  [48]... If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at 
          least ten thousand to one. 
  [49]... Anything free is worth what you pay for it. 
  [50]... A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain. 
  [51]... Don't try to have the last word.  You might get it. 
  [52]... Sex is like pizza.  When it's good, it's good.  When it's bad, it's 
          still pretty good. 

  [64]... Make your dreams be filled with symbolic weinerscnitzels 
  [65]... HMWHEC.  We want a few good men. 
  [66]... When confused or in doubt run in circles scream and shout 
  [67]... When confused or in doubt....whip IT out 
  [68]... I am woman, hear me rumble. 
  [69]... You see in the future millions of teeny boppers waving $1 bills at
  [70]... You hear off in the distance, "I'd buy than for a dollar!" 
  [72]... When a man with a gun walks up to you and politely asks you to move, 
          it would probibly be in your better interests to move. 
  [73]... When a woman asks for it, kiss her, and when she asks to be hit, 
          kiss her again. 

  [87]... You can't live with out a REAL account any longer, send as much 
          money as you can russle up too Bee.  Do it soon! 
  [90]... The future of the world is in your hands! (It doesnt look good...) 
  [92]... You come to the wrong place for help, traveller.  Ultimately, it's 
          your own grave you're digging. 
  [94]... By the data to date, there is only one animal in the Galaxy 
          dangerous to man--man himself.  So he must supply his own 
          indispensable competition. 

 [106]... Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes.   Keep this in mind; 
          it may offer a way to make him your friend.  If not, kill him 
          quickly and without hate. 
 [107]... A motion to adjourn is always in order. 
 [108]... Roman matrons used to say to their sons: "Come back with your 
          shield, or on it."  Later on, this custom declined.  So did Rome. 
 [109]... Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. 
 [110]... When the need arises-and it does-you must be able to shoot your own 
          dog.  Don't farm it out--that doesnt make it nicer, it makes it 
 [111]... One man's theology is another man's belly laugh. 
 [112]... Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to 
          themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled 
 [113]... Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse. 
 [114]... Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. 
 [115]... A woman is not property, and husbands who think so are living in a 

==> marq of the eternal erection logs on port 14 at 4:41pm. 

 [127]... There is no such thing as 'social gambling.'  Either you are 
          there to cut the other bloke's heart out--or you're an idiot. 
 [128]... Peace is an extension of war by political means. 
 [129]... Ingredient for a happy marriage:  Budget the luxries first! 
 [130]... Another ingredient for a happy marriage:  See to it that she has
          her own desk.  Then keep your hands off it! 
 [131]... To stay young requires unceasing cultivvation of the ability to 
          unlearn old falsehoods. 
 [132]... Does history record ANY case in which the majority was right? 
 [133]... Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash. 
 [134]... Only a sadistic scoundrel--or a fool--tells the bald truth on
          social occasions. 
 [135]... In handling a stinging insect, move very slowly. 
 [136]... The greatest productive force is human selfishness. 

 [148]... The kiwi genie slaps you and says"Baha...this is a TRICK KIWI!!! 
 [149]... Know any jobs with a future?  These fruits are cramped. 
 [150]... If you don't like smoke, hold your breath. 
 [151]... Snorkels can be worn year-round, just like earrings.  It's true. 
 [153]... Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill some of your 
 [154]... Practice drunk driving more often.  That way you dont get caught. 
 [155]... Wise man say to forgive is divine, but never pay full price for
          late pizza. 
 [156]... Life is like a dead decaying coon, it only gets worse. 
 [157]... He who is not liberal when young has no heart, he who is not 
          conservative when old has no brain, W. Churchill 

 [169]... There is no such thing as an opinion.  When you have the facts, an 
          opinion is unnecessary. 
 [170]... This kiwi is rotten, please try again in 5 minutes. 
 [171]... Reality is better when it us shared 
 [172]... Reality is better when shared...  but it doesn't make the rent any 
 [173]... Believe in the invisable ray..after all when was the last time you 
          saw ray? 
 [174]... Disco is to music what etch-a-sketch is for art 
 [175]... Evolution is a lie! 
 [176]... Hi there. you silly savage 
 [177]... can a blue man sing the whites? 
 [178]... flying turtles are real ...they just dont show up on radar

 [190]... You will meet susie on the street today, but won't know who she is. 
 [191]... Avoid hangovers.  Stay drunk. 
 [192]... AWOL: After women or alcohol. 
 [193]... Does it matter if the kiwi is carried by an African swallow or a 
          European swallow?  And, uh, what's your favorite color? 
 [194]... Behind every great fortune, there is a crime. 
 [195]... Money is always there, but the pockets change. 
 [196]... Do not beleive in miracles, rely on them. 
 [197]... It is easier to be dishonest for two, than it is for one. 
 [198]... It's unlucky to be behind, at the end of a game. 
 [199]... It is better to have played with legos and lost than to have never 
          played with legos at all. 

 [211]... Congratulations!  You have opened the secret kiwi for today.  
          See the sysop to claim your prize. 
 [212]... Children should be seen and not eaten. 
 [213]... Kiwis are stupid, 'sex' is more fun. 
 [214]... Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. 
 [215]... The two legged creature will believe anything; the more 
          preposterous the better.  
 [218]... "Stop fuc*ing bothering me!!  Can't you see I'm trying to take a 
 [219]... Ears believe the people, eyes believe themselves. 
 [220]... " a kiwi." 

 [233]... When will Bob Hope die?  He must be about a thousand years old by 
 [234]... How come vegetarians suck dick? 
 [235]... Better to be pissed OFF then pissed ON! 
 [236]... DONT EAT MY KIWI! 
 [237]... "C'est la vie..." 
 [238]... When you're being hammered, be careful of the head that the 
          force is coming from. 
 [239]... "Postage Due!", screamed the overweight mail carrier as he smashed 
          his hefty parcel into buck-ugly secretary's mail slot.  He he he... 
          Breakin' rules... 
 [240]... When in need of some one to breake concrete always call on the 
          professionals.... Triple G & M !  they work for pizza + coke + 
          10 bucks an hour.  A DEAL! 
 [241]... If you see a woman that you think is attractive... take a good look 
          and remember it... It is the best she will ever look for as long as 
          you know her... 

 [254]...  "Many men shall try-most will fail-few shall suceed. TYNB" 
 [255]... "After reading this, promptly call Darkfalz "Dalkbalz." He loves 
 [256]... Beat the heat!  Beeline naked. 
 [257]... I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. 
 [258]... thus, thrusting against the grandfather clock, the repair man fixed 
          it's tired coils. 
 [260]... Eliminate trust. 
 [261]... BBS Services are like group sex without a condom; if you want to 
          catch a virus, it's a pretty good way to do it. 
 [262]... "only you can change the futrue and not worry about your past 

 [274]... Why be normal when you live in Wisconsin? 
 [275]... You really expect advice from a fruit? ..  You're SUCH a 
 [276]... The world has so many different cultures. Not opening your mind to 
          their customs and way of life is similar to only reading books by 
          one author. 
 [277]... Lovers come and go but true friends last forever. 
 [278]... a pimple is a pimple 
 [279]... Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. So look deep inside a person
          for their inter beuaty. They may be better looking insde. 
 [280]... tee-hee! your watchyamacallit is getting pretty raw! 
 [281]... Sticks and stones may break my bones....but please...please dont 
          throw sticks and stones. 
 [282]... life stinks. . . .  live with it 
 [283]... Let copulation thrive! 

 [295]...  Do not read this message. 
 [296]... Only trust your psychologist as far as you can throw his couch. 
 [297]... A mind is like a only functions properly when open. 
 [298]...  The Kiwi Genie sings:  "Shiny happy people... Holding hands 
 [299]... You only see what you are looking for. 
 [300]...  "You!" he says. "Wake up- and smell the catfood... In yer bank 
 [301]...  This Kiwi has been deleted by Mein Fuerher, Bee. Now go away. 
 [302]...  Due to a kiwi shortage in Lithuania, you only get one Kiwi every 
          five minutes!  Byte me, you rube. 
 [303]... I thing get any worse thing will be easier to enjoy 
 [304]... You are going to have a wonderful day with pig guts. 

 [316]... Spy agent #007, your mission, if you choose to accept it is to break 
          into the capital and kill Tommy Tompson. (this message will self 
          destruct in 5 sec.) 
 [322]... What brings you to my seedy little abode?  You bored or something, 
 [323]... Hold on, the Fish are spawning. 
 [324]... The thing wrong with America today is 'there are too many chiefs, 
          and not enough Indians.' 
 [325]... Never lose your temper! Nobody else wants it. 

 [337]... All that a guy is looking to find is a nyphomaniac coke connection 
          with a ferrari dealership. 
 [338]... You have been deemed a leech forabusing this system 
 [339]... If you're happy and you know it, just keep it to yourself around 
 [340]... If you can't say something nice about anyone come talk to thor 
 [341]... Don't lead me to temptation..We all can find it on our own. 
 [342]... If God is dead, then all things are permitted.  --- Ivan Karamazov 
 [343]... It's ok to pick your friends but it is not ok to pick your freinds 
          nose :) 
 [344]... Time heals the wounds that hurt but only if your watch is not broken 
 [345]... Life's a beach and then you drown. 
 [346]... If you don't like what you're hearing. Get the funk out. 

 [358]... Some people have a straight aim, yet never pull the trigger. 
 [360]... "Big party in hell. Be there or be square" 
 [361]... I will spend eternity in limbo learning how to do the limbo. 
 [362]... My tomb or yours 
 [364]... Ya gotta cry tough, to make your dreams come true. 
 [365]... Whenever you leave I am fading like a flower. 
 [366]... Everybody in favor of abortion has already been born. 
 [367]... Promotion is 2/3 motion. 

 [379]... Don't feed the Bears.. 
 [380]... A king is a king. A queen is a queen but once a Knight is never 
          enough :) 
 [381]... Here I sit broken-hearted, paid to s__t and only farted! 
 [382]... Remember not everybody goes to the drive-in to see the movie!! 
 [383]... Never buy a encyclopedia. It calls your sexuality into question. 
 [384]... This is the begining of the end of the beginging of the end. 
          Why not?  It's Summertime! 
 [385]... Hi, I'm Naked and typing from Eek's computer 
 [386]... In General, Male/Female relationships should be avoided at all 
          costs, no exceptions, but you never listen anyway do you 
 [387]... Its not a credit limit, its a spending limit, DUH! 
 [388]... Gonna get me a shotgun and shoot all the whities I see!   Then them 
          whities, they won't bother me! 

 [400]... Living in this kind of environment does nothing for my diabetes.. 
 [401]... Ah...but if ye are are foolish. 
 [402]... When you can snatch the petals from my hand you will know it is 
          time to go. 
 [403]... Why do you do this, when kiwi aren't real?? 
 [404]... You strugle all life to get your fill...Face it you are olny young 
 [405]... Never take a 90 degree corner at 130 miles per hour. 
 [406]... If you look into the dictionary under redundant. It may say look 
          under redundant 
 [407]... Bee-Lining is all fun and games, but remember that when your time 
          comes, God doesnt /x... 
 [408]... If you need advice on how to get a date, just ask Admiral!  hehehe 
 [409]... If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.... 

 [421]... Take off your uniform and leave the show! 
 [422]... Take that idea (yes, THAT one), and stick it up an appropriate 
 [423]... Nothing good is going to happen today.  Go to bed. 
 [424]... I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy... 
 [425]... A penny saved is a penny not spent. 
 [426]... Today is a good day to buy a CD. 
 [427]... How does a person start dating the Kiwi genie 
 [428]... Thanks to typing "kiwi" at this time you have been turned into 
 [429]... If you don't have a job, enjoy life while you still can. 
 [430]... All problems in the world arise from human "need".  Streamline your 

 [442]... Teach your kids to be rude early.  That way they don't feel like 
          geeks around their friends at school. 
 [443]... Nothing comes to those who wait...get off your ass and do it 
 [444]... What is life, but that which is not death? 
 [446]... He looked like every other man until he took his clothes off. 
 [447]... Boredom is a sign of a weak mind 
 [448]... Ed Gein: 'Life a bitch, and then youre a chair.' 
 [449]... Jeff Dahmer: 'Lifes a bitch, and then you end up in the fridge 
          behind the milk, next to the ketchup.' 
 [450]... "A world without bombs is like a fish without a bicycle" 

 [463]... Idea for cordless vacuum:  Take a long tube, and suspend one end 
          outside of Earth's atmosphere.  Extend the other end into your 
          living room for easy clean! 
 [464]... If you were the size of a pinhead, people would have a real hard 
          time shooting you. 
 [465]... Eat your peas with honey, they may taste rather funny, but it keeps 
          them on yor knife. 
 [466]... Don't ask 'Whats up?' because I'm telling you right now, homes, that
          'up' is a preposition.  Read it, learn it, remember it! 
 [467]... He who fart in church sits in own pew 
 [468]... When did Jon get run over by a snail? 
 [469]... Little Mary is entered in the speed butchering at the fair 
 [470]... The only good naked person, is a naked person on their knees 
 [472]... If we all listened to Prof What the world would be a much better 

 [484]... Time is relative but don't give a hickey to your sister. 
 [485]... Is natural gas supposed to be lumpy? 
 [486]... Winners don't do drugs...therefore the losers are making all of the 
 [487]... Only deprived individuals feel an intense inner need to view obscure
          'kiwis' such as this mockery of an authentic original creative 
          'kiwi'. LOSER! 
 [488]... That's one hell of an attitude problem ya got there, bub. 
 [489]... Help me!  I'm trapped inside this microprocessor!  Call the FCC! 
 [490]... Cuando son los zapatos en el escaparate?????  "Dos mil pesos, 
 [491]... Pardon me, but your 'vortex-like' behavior annoys me.... 
 [492]... You will find it you your best interest to turn your telivision to 
          channel 33 and watch... then give great somes of money to your 
          choice of religous groups 

 [505]...  Advice to last a lifetime: Thumb on the blade, thrust upwards. 
 [506]... I guess you caught me with one hand in the cookie jar. (Jeffrey 
 [507]... If you want a banana, then ask for a banana! 
 [508]... Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. 
 [509]...  Did you take your medication.. ? ALL of it? 
 [510]... sex is evl, evil is sin; sin is forgiven, so sex is IN! 
 [511]... Only losers do drugs and make all the rules 
 [512]... Think how stupid the average person is, now remember that half the 
          people are actually stupider! 
 [513]... With your b*tch slap rappin' and your cocain tongue, you get nothin' 
 [514]... I wish someone could tell people why they are filtered for. 

 [526]... A circle can't fit where a square should be. 
 [527]... The nice thing about fans is that they don't collect dust. 
 [528]... Hussein drives a rolls royce...but he loooves to 'ride' his camel. 
 [529]... Enter the dungeon of doom. Be careful. Watch your butt. 
 [530]... what the hell is a kiwi?! 
 [531]... Never play leapfrog with a unicorn 
 [532]... a smith & wesson beats four aces 
 [533]... Type 'sex' for a good time. 
 [534]... I'm sorry, this kiwi is under remodelling.. please try again. 
 [535]... Pssst.. Buddy, wanna buy a watch? 

 [547]... A historian is a prophet in reverse. 
 [548]... Children play at being soldiers. That is sensible. But why should 
          soldiers play at being children? 
 [549]... One bad general does better than two good ones. 
 [550]... War hath no fury like a noncombatant. 
 [551]... A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either. 
 [552]... The more you are talked about, the less powerful you are. 
 [553]... If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly. 
 [554]... He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he 
          will do very few things. 
 [556]... There are no sects in geometry. 

 [568]... Truth is beautiful. Without a doubt; and so are lies. 
 [569]... The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. 
 [570]... There is somebody wiser than any of us, and that is everybody. 
 [571]... In a war of ideas it is people who get killed. 
 [572]... Man is what he believes. 
 [573]... Be careful how you interpret the world; it IS like that. 
 [574]... To know the world, one must construct it. 
 [575]... What is now proved was once only imagined. 
 [576]... A man is infinitely more complicated than his thoughts. 
 [577]... Toss'n the log, should be done slowly, and easily, to releive 

 [589]... That which does not kill me is dead when I'm done with it. 
 [590]... Sure I believe in peace -- peace through superior firepower. 
 [591]... Never relax. Your run may be over, but somewhere someone is 
          starting his and you may be the target. 
 [592]... Never pay for a pizza without checking the toppings. 
 [593]... Sex is like IRAs: There's a substantial interest penalty for early 
 [594]... The Kiwi Genie appears and slaps you across the face!                 
          "Tee-Hee! You just got RIPPED OFF by me, the Kiwi Genie!" 
 [595]... Cannot find file/pathname: C:\BBS\KIWIS.TXT 
 [596]... Fighting is a last resort... Used improperly it becomes a 
          double-edged sword. 
 [597]... Wouldn't ya like to be a pepper too? 
 [598]... Come here, pull my finger. 

 [610]...  Seasons change. People change. But Dave Thomas is a rock in the 
           stream of time. 
 [611]... The nice, friendly people at Perkins are your friends!  You WILL eat 
          at Perkins! You will eat at Perkins... OR DIE!!! 
 [612]... We need more saran wrap in this world of ours. 
 [613]... As long as you own it, who gives a fuck what other people say. 
 [614]... Feeling her throbing Breasts of love, he made another attempt to 
          taste her "Fore-ever" never seen hair.  As the sweating beast lay 
          down between her legs.... 
 [616]... The immortale words of Stan: As long as you got it, screw the rest 
          of em! 
 [617]... In the Garden of Eden lay Adam, quietly stroking his madam, so 
          great was his mirth, for he knew that on Earth, there were only 
          two balls and he had 'em! 
 [619]... There is not a more unendingly complex discipline as the quest for 
          understanding of humanity. 

 [631]... To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer 
 [632]... You don't know one millionth of one percent of anything 
 [633]... Fill what's empty. Empty whats full. Scratch where it itches. 
 [634]... All's well that ends. 
 [635]... What do you mean you've never met Robbing Moose!?!  EVERYONE has!! 
 [636]... play your cards right and you'll get laid tonight!!!!!!!!! 
 [637]... If you are honest in this world, you will gain awards beyond your 
 [638]... Just because the world has held together this long, doesn't mean it 
          can't change it's mind.  Be nice to it. 
 [639]... Girls under the age of 18 got no guts. 
 [640]... Cunts who aspire need more discipline. 

 [652]... Discount kiwi's!!  Check your favorite local kiwi factory, limited 
          time only!!   
 [653]... Go play Lemmings!  Now! 
 [654]... Life, you'll never get out of it alive! 
 [655]... Only the things that truly matter, are mesureed in Kilo-tons 
 [656]... Only the things that truly matter, are mesured in Mega-tons 
 [657]... If you want a Banana, then ASK for a Banana!! 
 [658]... Love is a big sack of poTAYtos, and someone to share them with. 
 [659]... They melvined me.   -Death 
 [660]... If you ever feel that you have truely insermountable problems, 
          think about some poor sob who'se job it is to explain specific 
          heat to middle age peasants. 
 [661]... You know you are in trouble when the Suicide Prevention Line puts 
          you on hold. 

 [673]... If you go to a place you have never been to, expect the unexpected. 
 [674]... If you maintain this lifestyle, you won't reach 30. 
 [675]... The three greatest lies: "I love you", "You can trust me", and "I 
          won't cum in your mouth." 
 [677]... Who put the 'bop' in the 'bop shi bop shi bop'? 
 [679]... Why can't my kitty cat fly? 
 [680]... Never sneeze into a fan. 
 [681]... I hate homework. 
 [682]... As I walk, I think. As I think, I walk. Unfortunately, I'm not real 
          careful, and drywall doesn't taste too good. 

 [694]... Take a chance today, it may seem weird, but everything will fall 
          into place. 
 [695]... "Hey there big boy," the ukula twanged noisely, "how about it?  We 
          could go over to your place and watch old Hee Haw reruns.  Hmmmm?" 
 [696]... Duct tape is like the Force: it has a light side and a dark side, 
          and it holds the universe together. 
 [697]... If Jesus were dead today, he'd be spinning in his grave 
 [698]... If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being? 
 [699]... The notion of two people spending their lives together was invented 
          by people who were lucky if they lived to 25 without being eaten by 
 [700]... I wanna be a small green fruit that goes squish when you bite into 
 [701]... We love sheep! 
 [702]... faaq the government!  Faaq the church!  Faaq God!  Faaq George Bush!  
          Faaq nazis!  Faaq hippie scum!  Faaq everyone!  
          But have a nice day... 
 [703]... People are STILL having sex?? Christ, I'd love to have that kinda 

 [715]... sometimes you just gotta say "What the fuck." 
 [716]... A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of 
 [717]... And he opened the seventh seal, and it's blubber spewed about the 
 [719]... Those who can....Those who cant...Teach. 
 [720]... All this intilectual stuff....just live life to its fullest! 'Nuff 
 [721]... You shall never attain manhood if you keep doing this! 
 [722]... It's true there is no evidence of life after death, or a heaven or 
          hell, but if there IS life after death, wouldn't heaven be better? 
 [723]... You shall never grow old until you do. 
 [724]... Man who sits on stove is home on range. 

 [736]... Nice girls don't explode 
 [737]... A mind is a terrible thing to waste someone with 
 [738]... You know what i wish? I wish all the scum of the earth has one 
          throat and i had my hands about it 
 [739]... Did you know the phone company uses the bone marrow of Third World 
          babies to make microchips? 
 [740]... Comedy. Sudden, violent, comedy! 
 [741]... It's Czechoslovakia! It's like going into Wisconsin! 
 [742]... I may be synthetic, but i'm not stupid 
 [743]... Llamas are larger then frogs 
 [744]... If god had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of toads, he 
          would have made them cute and furry 
 [745]... There are no universal goods and evils.  They all depend on human 
          moral judgement. 

 [758]... Are you going to leave quietly? or do we have to wear EARPLUGS? 
 [759]... Gird your loins against sin!, or is that grind you loins against 
 [760]... Call the ANTI-VORTEX line! 233-4828! 
 [761]... You have just won a prize. UNLIMITED KIWIS!! 
 [762]... The greatest mistake, is giving up and not believing in yourself. 
 [763]... Never say never, unless you are saying that  <-----  quote.  hehe 
 [764]... Sleepiness is a symptom of an inadequate blood-caffeine level. 
 [765]... Go to West, fool around- get BUSS-ted! 
 [766]... Oh, oh, oh! Kiwi genie, I want yuh! Oh, oh, oh! 

 [779]... All Terain Potatoes are not my cup of feathers 
 [780]... Everything is just the same only different. 
 [781]... I see in your future...  B I T C H 
 [785]... If pro is the opposite of con, what does that make the opposite of 
 [787]... For every HD crash, someone somewhere just got killed. 

 [799]... truth hurts, but every one who uses the bee line is a super geek! 
 [800]... Don't take life too's not permanent. 
 [801]... When your port number is higher then your user number, it's a good 
 [804]... Sometimes to realize you were well someone must come along and hurt 
          you. -- Jane's Addiction "Ritual de lo Habitual", courtesy of Than
          and the kiwi genie. 
 [805]... Breathing is to life what water is to FISH 
 [806]... Practice safe sex...  It just might save your life. 
 [807]... Help!  I'm trapped in a kiwi factory! 
 [808]... "So Be It!" 

 [820]... The night is your only true friend. 
 [821]... What trying times are these when a /we can clear the screen. 
 [822]... It is better to have broken the law and been caught than never to 
          have broken the law at all. 
 [823]... Be excellent to each other!!! 
 [824]... Ever notice that Peter O'Toole is a double phallic name? 
 [825]... hey! email bee and tell him to give JbdS his account back, okay? 
 [826]... Love is what it is and that's what it is..... 
 [827]... Go into a gift shop and ask for your gift.... I'll bet they don't 
 have it. 
 [829]...  Please tell Bee that Lithuania can rot in hell. UNLIMITED KIWIS 

 [841]... I like kiwis. 
 [842]... You will meet a Sexy beeliner and make passionate love to them soon! 
 [843]... Life is tough, so go out and buy some bananas. 
 [844]... It takes more than a common man to deal with the problems common to 
 [845]...  The world is indeed humorous, but the joke is on mankind. 
 [846]... Unhand this Kiwi, you prevert.   
 [847]... This is a defective kiwi.  Please notify Bee immediately! 
 [848]... Stop!... Pronkin' time! 
 [849]... Go my son, and search for thy destiny among the asparagus. 
 [850]... The only good kiwi is a good kiwi 

 [862]... Let's spend the rest of our lives together -- tonight. . ." 
 [863]... Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. 
 [864]... And you thought you were going to get a Kiwi didn't you? 
 [865]... "I'm sorry but I have to go," he says, "I'm late for a very 
          important date." 
 [866]... Bee, what ever happened to us?  We had something special, you and I.  
          Please think about what I said. 
 [867]... There is no kiwi shortage. The only way to have a kiwi shortage 
          is to keep letting the subops delete them! 
 [868]... This is the end, my friend. 
 [869]... Are You Constapated....If so Call 1-800-CNS-TPTD 
 [870]... "You are getting sleeeepy...Veeeerrryyy sleepyyyy.....your 
          eyelids are geting heavy.....verrrryy willl send all
          your money to Bee....." 
 [871]... You talkin' to me? I SAID, You talkin' to me? 

 [883]... If you be good to me, I'll be good to you, And we'll both ride home 
          in my automobile. 
 [884]... Reality is a crutch for the unimaginative. 
 [885]... "Average" is an excuse for the unimaginative. 
 [886]... "Sane" is relative. Any person on the street feels as sane as I do. 
          He's wrong, of course. 
 [887]... life - live - love     ..     - lose - lone 
 [888]... The GAY are now in sight 
 [889]... never pee into the wind. 
 [890]... Wow!    thats news!  I'm the kiwi genie, huh?  well, your lame. 
 [891]... A massage is a gentle swirling motion, preferably with a wet finger 
          or tongue. 
 [892]... Main Menu: Enter choice ([?] to relist):k                             
           THAT'S what you just did, bucko. 

 [904]... must you think about sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex all the time? 
 [905]... As he shoved his bloating snuffleupagous up her big, juicy, 
          1200 baud modem, melons dropped on his head. 
 [906]...  Who the hell is ART PAUL?!   
 [907]... Today you will find romance in mysterious places. 
 [908]... Macintoshes should be accelerated - to 32 feet/second ^2! 
 [911]... Manger Moi 
 [912]... You're not drunk until you have to grab the grass to keep from 
          falling off the earth. 
 [913]... cp /bin /dev/nul 

 [925]... Due to a kiwi shortage in Mongolia, you only get one kiwi every 5 
 [926]... Tell your friend over there to "bend over and pick up the soap". 
 [927]... Had a hat, put it down, and it sunk, reached down, picked it up, 
          slapped it on my head. 
 [928]... Taken in moderation, and rarely, fast food is a good thing. 
 [929]... In total darkness, even a spark of light is good. 
 [930]... life is like chocolate covered dung , it looks sweet , but tastes 
          like crap 
 [931]... Calculator Law #2: The money saved by buying a solar powered 
          calculator will end up being used to buy a flashlight to power 
          the calculator in a dark room. 
 [933]... What you eat is what you are so stay away from those twinkies! 
 [934]... Anyone can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on 
          his back you've really got something! 

 [946]... Darkfalz Has Darkball's atleast that's what Vortex said! 
 [947]... this is no time for eating 
 [948]... enter at own risk vortex is at large 
 [949]... No reward is worth this! 
 [952]... going to the candidate's debate.. 
 [953]... hi, i'm hans. i'm a dead bob, dog, and i like walks and half eaten 
          mice.               eat dog food and step softly. 
 [954]... Never kick a man in the balls unless you plan on killing him 
          afterward.  Not even symbolically. 
 [955]... Confusious say, it is better to be pissed off, then pissed on 

 [963]... You too may become a god. 
 [964]... Morals cannot be enforced at the point of a gun. -- Ayn Rand 
 [965]... You learn to show great respect when your mate will bite your head 
          off if you don't. 
 [966]... Variables won't; constants aren't. 
 [967]... Variables won't; constants aren't. 
 [968]... Why is it that PC users are willing to spend more than $1/kilobyte 
          for "conventional" RAM when chips cost under $50/meg? 
 [969]... Bigamy is having one husband too many.Monogamy is the same 
 [970]... Confusious say, he who stand on toilet, is high on pot 

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